You have to wonder how some people make it to adulthood intact, they're so stupid. Natural selection should have weeded them out long ago, yet they're still around. At least they serve to give us, people with intelligence and common sense, some amusement.

So what with tonight's severe thunderstorm/hail/tornado warning (and we saw a rotating cloud right above our house and I saw what I'm pretty sure was a funnel cloud dropping out of the sky, although it didn't touch down. But that's another story.) I decided to move the car into the garage to prevent it from being trashed by hail. So I drive around back through the alley and pull up to our garage, when I see a giant pile of trash laying in front of the garage door. I'm talking rolled up carpets, two sinks, some rebar and some other type of metal bars. It looks like a truckload full of reno waste, and it's all been dumped at our house. So I'm completely furious. Not only can I not get into my garage, but this crap is way too big for the garbage men to take. No doubt it was dropped off because of the time and cost of taking it all the way to the city dump. So I'm totally livid about this.

So I go to take a closer look and to try and move it out of the way, when I notice one of the items is a suitcase. With a luggage tag. With a name and phone number on it. At which point I think to myself, "hahahahahahahaha."

This guy is the dumbest criminal I have ever heard of. He's like the guy who robbed a house and left his wallet behind. I mean, could you make it any easier? So I phoned the number on the tag and left him a message kindly asking him to come pick up his shit. And then I phoned the police. They advised me that if I call the city, they will come and pick it up and send the guy the bill. I only wish he'd written his address on the tag as well, so I could borrow somebody's truck and take it right back to his house and dump it on his front lawn. Unfortunately, he's not in the phone book either.

Interestingly, he is on Facebook.

Anyway, time will tell if he calls me back and comes to pick it up himself, or if the city's going to be doing it for him.

***UPDATE***

So the guy phoned today and we had a chat. He seemed pretty sincere about not knowing anything about it and says he donated the suitcase to charity a long time ago. Furthermore, he was out of town. Maybe I'm a sucker, but I believed him. Unfortunately, the city says that since it's on private property, we're stuck with the responsibility and the cost of disposing of it ourselves. Darcy's suggestion was to toss it all across the alley onto the little green belt and let them deal with it, but I don't think we will. I'm hoping against hope that the garbage men will take it on Thursday. We'll see.